I made a change of heart

Ok, ok. I'm not moving. That's final. Surely there are things that money can't buy. Now I know I'm not materialistic.

I Heart Faces Week 3: Joy

I'm sorry for the poor resolution. I took this using my low-tech camera phone. Taken on July 28, 2006, my daughter Tala's 3rd birthday. She really had a great time and she remembers all the memories that happened back then and kept on telling me about it every once in a while. This is also the first time that she blew a cake all by herself. My entry to this week's I Heart Faces. Same thing that Tala has brought into my life. Joy.

Live all the days of our lives

If I had to live my life over again, I would perhaps take more chances and grab every opportunity. I would dare to do more mistakes and learned from it. I would live my life insanely. I would have more time to relax, travel and be carefree. There would be more mountains to climb, rivers to swim, and roads to run. I would eat more streetfood and worry less on health. I would be sillier and be little serious. I would have perhaps more trouble. But I would be happy.

I’ve been one of those people who lived by the rules set by the people around me. I was scared to commit mistakes, scared of what other people will say. Just lately I learned that people will forget what you did and what you said. Yes, I would not worry anymore for I’m gonna survive it anyway. I would live my life one day at a time. I will not look back and grieve about the past or be troubled about the future. I will just live my life in the present and make the most of it. Life is really short.

LP 42: Kahel

Kuha ang larawang ito noong taon 2007. Hindi ko malilimutan ang araw na yun. Ang paalam namin ay mag teambuilding kami. Pero hindi naman yun totoo. Nagfishing kami at nagbonding kasama ang mga katrabaho. Paguwi, naaksidente ang isa naming sasakyan. Buti na lang wala ni isa man ang nasaktan. At buti na lang din nagbangka ang ibang empleyado pauwi. Nakuhanan tuloy ang napakagandang paglubog ng araw sa Punta Fuego. Nagkulay kahel ang papalubog na araw ang sinag nito ay sumasalamin sa malawak na karagatan. Totoo ang sinabi ni Dinah na bakit ako lalayo pa ang ang lugar ko ay maganda na. Napaisip tuloy ako..

this is for you guys

All my life I kept on looking for answers and almost everytime, I always found somebody or someone that will tell me what it was. Yes I accepted their answers though its often in contradiction and I just kept me feeling empty. I was looking for answers and asking everybody except myself. It took me a long time and much painful to realize that all the answers I'm looking for is just inside me.

It feels so much better now to know that someone here and there with whom we can feel that there is understanding inspite of the thoughts unexpressed. I just want to thank them for accepting me for who I am. And for understanding. I would like to give this song to all of you guys. Thank you so much. You know who you are.

Thank You For Letting Me Be Myself Again

Sly And The Family Stone

looking at the devil grinning at his gun fingers start shaken i begin to run bullets start chasing i begin to stop we begin to wreslte i was on the top i want to thank you for letting me be myself again i want to thank you for letting me be myself again step off'n the collar slugged me in the face chit chat chatter trying shoved me in the place thank you for the party but i could never stay many things are on my mind the way i want to thank you for letting me be myself again i want to thank you for letting me be myself again dance to the music all night long everyday people sing their simple song mama's so happy mama starts to cry papa's still singing you can make it if you try i want to thank you for letting me be myself again i want to thank you for letting me be myself again i want to thank you for letting me be myself again i want to thank you for letting me be myself again i want to thank you for letting me be myself again i want to thank you for letting me be myself again i want to thank you for letting me be myself again i want to thank you for letting me be myself again...

Fate: To believe or not to believe

What is Fate?

According to the definition from Ardictionary.com, fate is a fixed decree by which the order of things is prescribed; the immutable law of the universe; inevitable necessity; the force by which all existence is determined and conditioned. But does fate exists?

I personally believe in fate. About eleven years ago, I met this guy who I still like very much. Fate? And yesterday, I got to meet this guy again and I came to realize that I still feel the same. Fate? So my answer for this is 50% fate, and 50% free will. Most probably we choose our fate. As a matter of fact, the thing I did eleven years ago still affect me today and I think this is what I call fate. It made me confused and more I think about it, the more confused I become. But dont get me wrong, I dont regret the decision I made back then. It's just that I felt empty.

He who hesitates is lost

I did it. After being skeptical of quitting my job, I am now officially tendering my resignation as Village Accountant of Punta Fuego effective Wednesday, February 18, 2009. I never thought of quitting such a great company, but when the opportunity arose, and as we all know that there's a current crisis, I had to take advantage of it. I really had a hard time deciding whether I'm going or I'm staying. I held back not because I'm afraid of what the new company is expecting from me or because I lack confidence, but because of the 4 long years that I've been through with Punta Fuego. I lied when I say that I won't be missing anything. In fact, I'm trying to suppress my tears now that I'm writing this. But what gave me the strength to decide is my family. I want the best for them and Im willing to sacrifice everything. People say that my family is lucky to have me. Not true. It's me who's lucky to have them.

However, no enough words can describe how I really liked Punta Fuego. I cannot say enough wonderful things about all the people I've encountered in my years of service with them. It has taken me to new levels and I really appreciate all the professional and personal help that I got from all the people that I've worked with. But I really, really have to go. Since my heart is saying thatt this is the right thing to do, therefore I'm ready to do it. Anyways, I just hope that we will stay in touch as I begin a new chapter in my life. Gonna miss a lot really.

Workshop and Home Improvement-Best Products

Building a home requires a lot of time and patience since it lasts for a couple of months. Usually, a family on a small budget, build their home that is just so simple with little architectural designs. The floors, walls, plumbing and electricals were so basic that a little or no adornments are done. The owners will slowly build a home that soon enough it will be completed in the way they wanted it to be. We can observe from a newly constructed house that usually finishings like window grills and wall tiles were yet be done, but as time goes on, little by little, new home improvements were made.

This workshop and home improvements has been so popular since it is easy to access through lots of Do It Yourself online stores. It can also save your time going from a local hardware store to another. One of these online stores is the Shopwiki.com. You can browse around in their showcases where you can get some design ideas and you can get to choose from lots of items and gadgets for your home. Their products range from basic tools and painting supplies to power tools. Whether it is just a small job to do like fixing a leaky pipe or another major renovation like repainting and setting up a new dashboard, Shopwiki.com can easily help you in finding the right tools needed for the job in a short time and less effort. For more information on their best products available, from nuts and bolts, painting supplies and workshop accessories to power saws, power drills and grinders, check their website at www.shopwiki.com/wiki/Workshop+and+Home+Improvement.

I won at Pinayads.com Holiday Blow Out Giveaways!!

I won 4th prize at Pinayads.com Holiday Blow Out Giveaways! Weeeeeee!

and my cool prizes? Check this out:

Ma Christina De Castro - 4th Prize

• $5 cash payable through paypal from Musings of A Pinay Blogger
• 125 x 125 ad space for a lifetime from There She Goes. Again.
• 125 x 125 ad space for 1 month from Joys in Life
• 125 x 125 ad space for 1 month from Pinky Posh nameSherry
• 1 month ad space from Another Contest
• 125 x 125 ad space for 2 weeks from TIKLATON: We are the witness
• 1000 EC from TIKLATON: We are the witness
• 1000 EC from Ivory Task
• 300 EC from Mighty In Spirits

Here's the screenshot:

Congratulations to all the winners!!

First Love-Huling El Bimbo-McDo Commercial

There's this commercial of McDonalds that's been airing on Philippine Television. This is a commercial of their Fries and Chocolate Fudge Sundae. My daughters tried to imitate the way the girl dipped her fries in her choco sundae. And I laughed because my daughters said "hindi naman masarap". Yeah, it didn't taste good combining cold-sweet choco sundae with so hot-too salty (may ketsup pa) fries, yuck. But with its very good concept and story, and since I'm really senti, this commercial got in my senses. Its so sad. So nostalgic. I'm pretty sure marami ang nadala at nakarelate ;)

So here's a vid from Youtube. Thanks to argemv for uploading it.

"At kahit hindi naging kami sa huli, siya pa rin ang first love ko" - sigh.. :'(

I'm running..

I want to run and I will run everyday.

I’m pushing myself to do it because I had set my own rules, and that is that everyday I will run faster, and I will try harder. I already acquired a sense of determination that I would never, never give up. At first, I felt my throat start to close up and I know I was not getting enough oxygen. Scary. I asked myself if this is what I really want and almost thought about quitting. But how can I quit now that I am improving? I’ve been running for sometime now and I know that my phase has changed and it feels good. Since I set my goals for this, I need to do one thing. I have to make my mind run my body and never let my body tell my mind what to do. I know that I’m too old for this and my body will always give up. But I remember when I was young, my mind can make my body dance and party all night and never got tired. From this I came to conclusion that my body is never tired if my mind is not tired. I just got to make my mind take over and keep going.

Can text messaging ruin a relationship?

Nowadays, with the latest technology and the cutting edge ways of communication, it is very easy to send messages. Just a few strokes and a push in the ‘send’ key of a mobile phone, it is with so little effort to say what you want to say without verbally expressing yourself. But, although we say that this is a state of the art way of communicationg, yet, text messaging someone can be very dangerous. This can also ruin friendships because a text might be sent to the wrong person or someone can share your text with somebody else, but that only means you need to be true to whomever you were talking about.

Why am I saying this? Something happened last Friday, January 8, 2009, a day before the birthday of my friend Leah. This is also the day of my final interview with Pico de Loro Club. On my way home after the interview, another friend Mylene texted me and invited me over for dinner at our favorite spot. She said that she also invited Leah. Since I got a new job and Leah’s birthday is a day ahead, I said that it can be a double celebration for us.

After dinner, we agreed to have a little drinking session but I told them that it would be just a bottle for me for I’m already tired and sleepy. My interview was scheduled at 8:00AM and I woke up 2:30AM to catch the first trip to Manila. So after my 1 bottle of San Mig Light, I went home. The two of them jokingly booed me but told me that they will text me when they’re already drunk so I can send them home which they did but I’m really sleepy that I just read the text the morning after.

But at 6:00PM the following day, I got a wrong sent text message from Mylene. I know that she had a mistake of sending this message for me which she intends to send to somebody I didn’t know who. The message goes like this: “Ng-usap kmi khpon n Leah. Snbhan nga din ako n wag msyado twala ke Tin at kadaldal nga daw. Ung away nila ni Janice e c Tin daw ang nagpalaki tapos hugas kmay.” This really got me enraged and needless to say, I forwarded this to all of our friends including Mylene and Leah. I got tons of textbacks but I hesitated to reply to anyone. Let them think what they want to think. I can’t imagine that these two invited me over yet after I left they talked about me behind my back, to think that I considered them as my friends during my 4-year stay at Punta Fuego. This has made me to come to conclusion that you cannot find a true friend from the place that you’re finding money

I'm hurting so bad, really. But thanks to them, transferring to Pico de Loro would be easy to bear now. Nothing to miss anymore.

$130 Cash + 2,000 Entrecard Credits Contest!

Entredropper.com is giving away a total of $130 PAYPAL cash plus 2,000 in Entrecard credits to twenty-eight (28) lucky Entrecard users!!

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Starting Over

I'm resigning from Punta Fuego..

Starting over is like being a blank CD again. The things that we went through will be all erased and its hard to wake up every morning thinking of what to do and how to do it. But it's a challenge for us how to get up, move on, and do what we do best. Though we really didn't want to, we change. And when it comes to chance, there are three reason why: we change because we're hurt that we have to , we change when we receive enough that we are able to, and we chance when we learn enough that we want to. Yes, I will be missing everybody upon my transfer to Pico De Loro, but you see this is one of my New Year's Resolutions that I have to stick to. This is not about me afterall. Its about my family and their future. I know at my first weeks, it would be really, really sad but I need to keep moving forward, open new doors, and do new things, because it will keep leading me down to new paths. And I'm optimistic.

LP 41: Asul (Blue)

Ang Bayan ng Nasugbu, Batangas ay biniyayaan ng napakagandang kapaligiran. Karaniwan itong dinarayo ng mga turista na nagnanais makasagap ng sariwang hangin at masilayan ang mga magagandang tanawin. Idagdag pa ang magigiliw at mababait na mamamayan. Ang larawang ito ay kuha ko sa Baranggay Calayo, Nasugbu, Batangas. Tunay naman makapigil hininga ang tanawing ito. Ang burol ng San Vincente ay napapaligiran ng asul na karagatan at nakatunghay sa asul na kalangitan. Bilang isang responsableng mamamayan ng Nasugbu, ako ay nakikiisa sa pag pepreserba ng kagandahan ng aking kapaligiran.

LP 40: Pula (Red)

Inihahandog ng Punta Fuego Village Foundation, Inc. at ng Balaytigue Elementary School ang ALS (Alternative Learning School) na naglalayong magbigay ng libreng pagaaral ng mga kursong bokasyonal sa mga kabataang nagnanais matuto ngunit kapos sa kabuhayan.

Dalawa sa mga kursong ibinibigay ng ALS ay "Hotel & Restaurant Management" at "Building Wiring Electrician Course" na karaniwang natatapos sa loob ng dalawa hanggang tatlong buwan. Ang proyektong ito ay inilunsad sa tulong nga Pamahalaang Lokal ng Nasugbu sa pamumuno ni Mayor Antonio Barcelon, at sa tulong nga kagalang galang na dating senador Ralph Recto.

Mapapansin sa larawan na pula ang napiling uniporme ng mga mag-aaral dahil inilalarawan ng kulay pula ang pagiging masigasig, aktibo, buhay na buhay at puno ng pag-asa..

Entercard Credit Giveaways

As Anything Goes turns 2 months today, January 07, 2009, she is giving away 20,000 EC credits who visited, visits and will visit her blog. This is not a contest because 40 participants will be getting 500 EC credits each!

To participate:

1. Blog about this post, Entercard Credit Giveaways, to invite others. You need to link back to this post and a link to this blog, Anything Goes.
2. Subscribe to feeds via email and be sure to confirm it.
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And what he greatly thought, he nobly dared

O prince, in early youth divinely wise,

Born, the Ulysses of thy age to rise!

If to the son the father's worth descends,

O'er the wide waves success thy ways attends:

To tread the walks of death he stood prepared;

And what he greatly thought, he nobly dared.

--Homer (Book 2, lines 307-12 - The Odessey)

Actually, whether we like it or not, we are "near" to what others think of us. What just made us prove to them that they were wrong is our courage to proceed or dump our efforts. So we better stop thinking of "stopping" whenever negativity attacks. We can smash into anything we thought is negative. This is the where we can overthrow them. We just have to believe in ourselves. - my thought for the day to live by.

Words of wisdom and fun ideas

An addition to my New Year's Resolutions, I decided that I will be having my daily words of wisdom/fun ideas for me to live a full life and to celebrate faith, peace, new beginnings, family, art, beauty & generosity (naks!). I should have done this on the first day of the year but so many things to do with so little time kept me from doing so.

Anyways, here's for today- I hope somebody will have the time to participate ;)

January 6, 2009 - Answer:

This year, I would like to be more __________________.
(Ex. friendly, patient, witty, loving....)

My New Year Resolution

Each New Year, I always come up with a set of Resolutions. It's more of what I'd like to do and not the usual "want to change a habit-thing". I've been placing "To be more organized" on the top, but its always been a 60% done (or 40% failed for that matter) so now it falls under number 4 because I will be prioritizing number 1 and 2. I should have combined the first two resolutions because I had a hard time choosing which should come next to the other, but ended up with being fair..

Here's my Year 2009 Resolutions:

1. Have more time with the kids - I am expecting that I will only live for an average of 60-65 years. Now I'm 35, so there's only around 25-30 years left for me. And because kids grow so fast, I want to enjoy every moment spent with them now that they are still small. In a couple of years more, Helen will be 7 years old and I wont be able to carry her in my arms to sway her to sleep. Mikaela is nearing her teenage years and starting to dislike toys so I wont be able to play with her anymore. She will be interested in other things other than play with me..

2. Make up for the lost times with Katkat - this is the thing that I'm sure I will regret for the rest of my life. Leaving Katkat when she was 3 years old and letting her grow without me. It's imaginable that there are times when she needed a mother and I'm not there. I dont want her to hate me so I will give my best to make up for our lost times. If only people are not that selfish..

3. Love family more (parents, siblings, aunts, nieces, nephews) - nobody loved me as they loved me, they are always there when I needed them and they never failed me so I will give them back all the love they've been giving me.

4. Be more organized - clutter free and mess free on everything.

5. Wake up earlier than usual - I've been waking up as early as 5:30 am but its not enough for the many things to do every morning. Cook, prepare kids' pack lunch, school uniforms and school stuff, prepare the breakfast table, wash dishes, prepare self for work, drop kids at school, and many other tasks in between. So, I decided to wake up 30 minutes earlier.

6. Budget/Save- year 2009 will be financially tough and I'll be having the monthly amortization of my loan. I decided to allot the budget only the basic necessities-food, school stuff, medicines, & utilities. No more shopping and travel and less on not so important matters.

7. Be more careful in decisions - there are wrong decisions that I made in the past year so this year I will be learning from my lessons.

8. Find a higher paying Job - the need arises from resolution no. 5

Actually the initial list is 12 but due to lot of thinking and planning, I came up with only 8, they're the most important and I'm sure that at the end of this year, it will be a 0% failed (though I worried with no. 6).

Happy New Year Everybody!!

My December 2008 Top 10 Droppers

I would like to give thanks to the following who gave a lot of time and efforts on dropping ECs here. Thank you so much!

Dropper	# of drops
Wonderful Things in LIfe	28
Mumsy	20
I am Harriet	19
Ruth's Creations	18
Nita's Random Thoughts	12
Merydith's Place	12
a malaysian abroad	11
Man In The Moon	10
Successful Blogging	10
The Callalily Space	9

my other blog

Since I've been addicted to blog contests, I decided to make a separate blog for it. I've come up with http://www.wannabesupermommy.blogspot.com

That blog is a compilation of blog contests that I found all over the net. Since I just made a few entries, I would allot more time surfing the net and searching for more contests to post.

While this blog will now become my online diary where I will be posting the happenings of my daily life, mostly kasentihan since I'm a senti person.

First Post For The Year 2009

"A daughter may outgrow our lap, but she will never outgrow our heart" ~Author Unknown

It's been quite sometime since my daughters were together. Last was in May 2008 during school vacation when I had to beg Edwin to let Katkat stay with us till school opening. And it was 6 months ago since I last saw Katkat and I'm very disappointed and guilty with myself for being so busy not to have a time to visit her. Yes, there are reasons why I'm busy, which I knew are so "mababaw". But this year, having time for my kids no matter how busy I will be, topped my list of New Year's Resolution.

My kids are the reasons why I'm thankful that I'm alive.

I remember one morning when I was about to go to work, my 3-years old youngest daughter Helen gave me her first drawing, it was a drawing of a girl, actually it was somewhat a stick-figure. I was surprised to see her learned how to draw at her age. To my exitement, I hang up the drawing at our refrigerator door. And when I arrived home in the evening after work, I found our refrigerator full of stick figure drawings, this time they were colored with crayons, and with Helen saying "Mommy ganda drawing ko, kaw yan".

Katkat, my second born on the other hand, was left in the care of her grandmother when she was also 3 years old. I left her. That's the only thing in my life that I am regreting. I am a brave and gutsy person, but during that times, I became a coward. But despite of my shortcomings for Katkat, she still wanted to be with me, live with me, and still favors me over anything. My daughter loves me-unconditionally. I knew I need to make up for Katkat. And I'm willing to do anything too for her.

Mikaela, my eldest, is nearing teen years.. May sarili ng mundo ika nga. But with every occasion, she always has a ready gift for me. Sometimes a hand made card, a cheap coin purse, a flower or a drawing. And always with a small note saying "I love you mommy".

Here are picture of my daughters last Christmas -December 25, 2008, one of the happiest Christmases I have..