Star's Coming Over

Star, my sister-in law, is based in Qatar and is working as a hospital nurse. We used to chat every now and then and she has been sending us pictures of her while she’s at work. She was first assigned in the pediatrics then later in the emergency room.  I noticed from her pictures that her scrubs in Qatar are a bit different from the scrubs she used to wear when she was still working here in the Philippines.  She said the hospital uniforms in Qatar were designed to meet the basic standard for Arab women's dress. They were patterned from the jallabia, an Arabian Traditional women’s dress that’s long, fits loosely and is ankle length, it’s actually a long dress with long sleeves. Her hospital uniforms vary in colors and she liked it because it covers every part of her body and it also prevents patients from touching them.

Last week she phoned me and she said she’ll be coming home in March and she’ll be staying here for good and that’s good news to us. Since she worked in Qatar, we have been worrying too much for her. Maybe if it’s some western country we won’t.  Anyways, she has plans of putting up a business but for sure she will still work as a nurse since she still has job offers here. I’ll bet she will ask me again to accompany her to buy new scrub sets. My daughter is so exited when I told that her aunt is coming. It simply means there will be loads of chocolates for her and of course a new signature bag for me. I can hardly wait.

Why I wanted to be a Work-At Home Mom

Tala, my youngest daughter, very sick but managed to smile after blood samples were taken.

The other day when I was preparing to go to work, my youngest daughter told me that she likes Kiara's dad more than her dad. Kiara is her classmate in her kindergarten class. I asked her why, she said, "because everyday he dropped Kiara at school in the morning and picked her up in the afternoon" then she cried and begged me no to go to work anymore. I was dumbfounded. I realized that kids grow up only once and they need more hugs and kisses because at their young age, only few of them understands why their parents need to be away to work. I regret all the important activities in the lives of my kids that I missed because I'm away. Everyday, my daughter learns new things from school. One time, I overheard her sang a very silly song that when I asked her who taught her that she said "from a neighbor's kid". I know it's hard to live on a one-income set-up instead of both parents earning. But come to think of it, the mother goes to work, earn money, then pay someone else to take care of the kids and enjoy every moment of motherhood. I think this is a matter of choice. Being a stay at home mom doesn't just stop there. there are opportunities the will let them earn and at the same time, have to enjoy the task of being a mom. I know it would not be easy at first but bear in mind that kids were kids just once.

And so I'm back

I had been out for months. Though I really wanted to write, I can't. We'll I tried a lot of times but I always ended up staring at a blank page. My hands couldn't hardly press a single key. My mind froze. My time stopped. So many things to write and so many experiences to share yet all I could just do is wonder, and cry.

But now, after series of spiritual counselings, after long talks with relatives, and after tons of advise from friends, here I am, stronger than before, braver than ever. Though what happened left a scar in my heart. And it's good. Yes, it made me believed that a scar should be considered good because it means that wound has healed, the pain over.

Here's what happened.

I got pregnant again after 2 miscarriages. But was diagnosed of "hyperemesis gravidarum", a severe case of nausea and vomiting that had me hospitalized twice or I would have suffered dehydration. I was also advised to "bed rest" for there was again a threat of miscarriage. There were series of spotting that can be triggered by even a slight body movement. So I was force to file for a leave from work for a month, without pay.

Then, I was home, on leave, taking a lot of prescription drugs, when one saturday morning my mother had a stroke. She collapsed and was unconscious. I rushed her to the neareast hospital with ICU. Doctors said if she wouldn't wake up in 72 hours, that was it. And it's true. That was it. Within that 72 hours, I prayed. Minute by minute, seconds by seconds. Asking God if it was possible to "trade-in" my baby with my mother. No answers we're given. But I didn't loose faith. No way. I was there holding her hand when the doctors were trying to revive her. They calmly said "Nanay's brain gave signal to her heart telling it to stop beating". They said they will try to revive her again. But upon seeing the way they're doing it, I just said, stop, they're hurting my nanay even more. And so, as the doctors said when we first get there, that was it. Nanay is 53.

Now, Im here in front of my computer. I'm fine. My family's fine. My tatay is back in shape after being drunk almost everyday for two months. My daughters, after series of begging me to wake up "Mama" and bring her home from the cemetery, were back at school and doing good at quizzes. My brother and sister, after being dependent on our Nanay's care though they're on their 30s, were now learning to make it on their own. The house after days of non-stoppable videoke sessions of my Nanay, is quiet because the mini-videoke that I gave her on her 52nd birthday now only serves as a DVD player. And Nanay now is happy. I'm sure. She has served God when she was a member of the church's choir, and she served people, when she was a volunteer health worker. And she has served her family well. My youngest daughter said it's cool, "Mama" is in heaven and she has wings. Yeah, I know, but she's just around, cruzin'.

There are some sayings like: when one door closes another one opens, and there's a rainbow after the rain. And now, there's a new life in me due November 1st. Too bad, Hindi ko madadalaw si Nanay sa sementeryo, baka siya na lang dadalaw sa akin sa araw ng mga dead hehe. I'm thinking to name the baby after Nanay, but Im having second thoughts, bantot ba naman ng name ni Nanay "Petronila" hahaha.

God how I missed her.

First Post For The Year 2009

"A daughter may outgrow our lap, but she will never outgrow our heart" ~Author Unknown

It's been quite sometime since my daughters were together. Last was in May 2008 during school vacation when I had to beg Edwin to let Katkat stay with us till school opening. And it was 6 months ago since I last saw Katkat and I'm very disappointed and guilty with myself for being so busy not to have a time to visit her. Yes, there are reasons why I'm busy, which I knew are so "mababaw". But this year, having time for my kids no matter how busy I will be, topped my list of New Year's Resolution.

My kids are the reasons why I'm thankful that I'm alive.

I remember one morning when I was about to go to work, my 3-years old youngest daughter Helen gave me her first drawing, it was a drawing of a girl, actually it was somewhat a stick-figure. I was surprised to see her learned how to draw at her age. To my exitement, I hang up the drawing at our refrigerator door. And when I arrived home in the evening after work, I found our refrigerator full of stick figure drawings, this time they were colored with crayons, and with Helen saying "Mommy ganda drawing ko, kaw yan".

Katkat, my second born on the other hand, was left in the care of her grandmother when she was also 3 years old. I left her. That's the only thing in my life that I am regreting. I am a brave and gutsy person, but during that times, I became a coward. But despite of my shortcomings for Katkat, she still wanted to be with me, live with me, and still favors me over anything. My daughter loves me-unconditionally. I knew I need to make up for Katkat. And I'm willing to do anything too for her.

Mikaela, my eldest, is nearing teen years.. May sarili ng mundo ika nga. But with every occasion, she always has a ready gift for me. Sometimes a hand made card, a cheap coin purse, a flower or a drawing. And always with a small note saying "I love you mommy".

Here are picture of my daughters last Christmas -December 25, 2008, one of the happiest Christmases I have..

LP 37: Mahalagang Regalo

Wala ng hihigit pa sa halaga ng regalong ito sa aking buhay. Ang aking pamilya na laging andiyan lang sa lahat ng oras ng aking pangangailangan at nagmamahal sa akin ng tunay. Maaaring hindi nga kami perpekto sa mata ng ibang tao, pero ang pinakaimportante sa lahat ay ang pagtingin namin sa isat-isa. Kuha ang litratong ito noong Disyembre 25, 1978. Ako yung batang naka pula ng damit..

Litratong Pinoy: Eksayted!!!

Ang kaibigan ko na si Janice kasama ang mga anak ko habang sakay ng MV Diana papuntang Boracay. Ano ba't kahit ito ang una nilang pagsakay sa barko, sa halip na sila ay mangamba or matakot, sobra pa silang exited!


Sa wakas nakarating din ng Boracay! Ang ganda ganda pala ng Boracay sa bukang-liwayway! Ang puti at ang pino ng buhangin! At ang dagat, walang kaalon alon! Weeee ang sarap!!


Ang sarap magswimming! Child-Friendly talaga ang dagat.

Si Janice walang pagsidlan ng kagalakan! Parang bata na nagtampisaw sa dagat. Unang pagkakataon din kasi nya na makarating ng Bora.

let's be thankful

For the past week, I had seen and joined so many Thanksgiving contests in the net that I need to pause for a while and think of the things that myself should be thankful for.

But first I’d like to share a story that happened two weeks ago when we attended the 59th birthday party of my dad’s best friend-Uncle Edgar Villanueva. I expected it to be a blast because a day before that party my mom told me that it was a pool party. But when we arrived at the venue around 7pm, we were surprised that barely 20 guests were there. Uncle Edgar said the party was supposed to be for the closest/bestest friends only and he had only one bestfriend-My dad.

So the party went on, lots of food were prepared, lots of drinks were served and guess what, despite of the fact that liquors now are a no-no for my grumpy old dad, yet he and Uncle Edgar got drunk.

Uncle Edgar: “Minsan lang ito”
Tintin: “I’ll be watching your every shot”.

Then all of a sudden, the celebrant together with my dad had a crying portion.

Tintin: “OK folks, your turning into dramatic actors, that’s enough! Tatay let’s go home”

But my dad’s reply for me had me speechless for a moment.

Tatay: “Anak, next year we’ll be getting our senior citizen’s cards! Let us enjoy our time together, we only have a few years to live! Life now is short! Whether we like it or not, malapit na kami matigok”.

Now, not to diminish those thoughts or anything, but I thought I should like to present a list of things I'm thankful for that you might think is not normal ;-).

Feel free to add to the list in the comments should you feel the need.

Things I'm thankful for:

1. Sanitary napkins & Toilet paper (can’t imagine how my lola was able to live with pasador)

2. Seatbelts

3. Pets - dogs, cats, chickens, ducks & goats for that matter (they bring a smile to my kids’ faces like no other)

4. French Fries (they're quick and easy and taste pretty good)

5. Zippers (they’re keeping my messy things unnoticed inside my bag)

6. My refrigerator & microwave oven (always ready when hunger stikes in the middle of the night)

7. Wind Chimes (I like the sound when you flick them, making me sleepy in the afternoon)

8. My laptop & internet (for obvious reasons)

9. Videoke (it’s making my mom stay at home hehe)

10. Other fat people (its nice to know I’m not alone)

11. My kids’ Tutor (for being patient with my kids)
12. Movies!! (I’m an addict)

13. Counter Strike – (for releasing my stress)

14. KFC hot & crispy (yummy!! Ang gravy ginawang sabaw!!)
15. Music

16. Roof over my head (my new house!! Yipeee)

17. good friends that make me laugh and let me cry every now & then
18. good health – panahon ng krisis bawal magkasakit

19. Brother & Sister –(for strengthening my patience, lols, they made my childhood so much fun)

20. PARENTS – (reasons I’m thankful that I’m alive!! Hey Pop, your still the handsomest, macho dad that I ever had, (though your so grumpy most of the time)so don’t hurry meeting San Pedro ok, You won't be kicking the bucket any time soon..I ‘ll be entrusting you my grandkids ...Give yourself a little more credit than that! Hey mama, we’re having a videoke marathon tomorrow so save your lungs, stop yelling at your grandkids!!)

21. MY KIDS (reasons I’m thankful that I can give life, and for the unconditional love they’re giving me, I maybe a dumb ass wife, but I bet I’m the world’s best mom!)

22. and lastly OUR HEAVENLY FATHER – for giving me all the things I am thankful for…All praises I’m giving back to you.

my baby no more

I was fixing Mikaela's things at my ninang's house last friday. She's been staying there of more than 2 months now since the start of the house construction ( a week more and we off to our new house yipee!!).

I was about to pick up the books when I glanced into something colorful, shimmery, pink. A little notebook.. more of half the size of the standard notebook that I used in my high school days. On the cover of the pink glittery notebook said "My Diary". I was so "Gosh may diary na ang anak ko??" And what do you expect that a typical compulsive-possesive-mother that I am will do? Of course I read it!

I cant believe that Mikaela is maintaining a diary for a about a year! I was more like of a journal of every occassions that passed, her birthday, everybody's birthday, family outings like swimming, dining out, out of town travel, and even the times when we had misunderstandings. But what surprised me is her note dated Nov. 15, 2008 - her first communion. Here let me share a few lines:

Dear Diary,

Today is my favorite day because it is my first communion. My mommy and my sister Tala accompanied me to the church. Today also I got to see my crush at the church. Ninang said crush is only paghanga. He is my crush because he is intelligent and he is our first honor in class....

Huwaaattt???? Mikaela had a crush?????? What am I gonna do??

I think I need professional help or I'm going crazy!!!

today and yesterday

With so much things to do at the office today I could not afford to continue blogging. Sangkatutak ba naman ang trabaho sa office pagdating sa bahay ganun din! Yesterday I reported for work to make up for the deadlines then double pay pa kasi holiday nga. Gusto ko pa naman mag chill sa house. watch the movies I missed watching. eat baked mac. play with the kids. Kaso I need to report for work talaga grrrrrr. Hayyy baka isipin ng mga tao nagpapayaman ako ng todo hehehe. How I wish. Anyway, what if one day magkatotoo nga na yumaman ako. Ano kaya gagawin ko? If I would be good siguro I would share my riches to the people I love. My relatives, my closests friends, or magtayo kaya ako ng foundation. But what if I would be bad and bitchy? Shopping here & there. Nightlife. Or i-casino the rest of the money hehehe. Or elope with the one I've been dreaming to spend my life with. Nyaakkkksss. Ay ang sama sama pala. Ewan ayoko tuloy yumaman..

rain rain go away

Today, upon serving breakfast, my daughters were singing "rain rain go away" and I found myself singing with them, and I was so carried-away. "come again another day-come again another day". Our singing became a chant now. I even pictured myself as Sarah Geronimo in the movie Special Love doing the sun dance.

Hindi naman ako galit sa ulan. Actually, the first song that I taught my youngest daughter is "Basang Basa sa Ulan" by the Aegis and my daughter is scoring 89 at our karaoke when I can hardly score 83 hahaha. I also knew that ulan is good for mother earth, it is also the nature's way of filtering the air. Tapos, if there's typhoon, of course, not just classes are suspended but sometimes even works too, then it's so sarap to eat champorado and tuyo and sarap also to cuddle in bed with the kids habang bumabagyo (c'mon Mikah give that unan to Tala, that's hers!)

Kaso lang sometimes ulan is so LABO talaga. (I'm sorry ulan, it's not you, It's me.) Cge its ok for you to come, but please not now, cguro some other time na lang, bsta not now kc schedule ng buhos ng flooring ng house renovation ko pano na titigas ung semento wahhhhhh. Now i'm starting to sing "Sunshine, my only sunshine". But wait, uyy tumitila na!!! Yipeee. I hope the sun will shine in all its glory in the next few hours. If not, lagot na, my target date for the house renovation to finish will be moved from October 15 to Oct 16, which means another 1,600 will add up to the labor cost. Eh pano kung umulan bukas, at sa isang bukas, at sa isa pang bukas?? hayyyyy. C'mon kids lets do the sundance.

attack of the "susong hapon"

Since our house renovation started, we've been sleeping at my Aunt's house for about a week now and everyday I've been awaken by their shoutings at their garden. But because I cant hardly sleep at night (namamahay daw - my ninang's term) I always woke up late and always in a hurry attending to my kids daily morning needs, I didn't have much time to ask them what's going on.

Today's a little different, though. I woke up earlier than usual. It made me feel a little better. At least I don’t have to rush my kids on taking their breakfast and they wont miss their school service again. And i can also ask my ninang what's the early-morning-garden-noise is all about.

As i came to look at my ninang's garden, I was shocked to see what's making my ninang so upset. There were snails all over her garden! When I started counting them, they're almost near to 140. And they're everywhere! On the grass, hanging on walls, branches and leaves, some sticking on the flowers, driftwood and even on my ninang's cactus plants. And they ate almost everything that passed their way. My ninang said that these snails climbed their way through the walls from the adjoining vacant lot beside them. She said that everyday, although she spent hours in removing these snails from her garden, she wondered "bakit hindi maubos ubos ang mga lintek na ito".

Well here are some slugs facts I read that would answer all my ninang's questions.

Snails' bodies produce a thick slime. Because of this slime, they can crawl across the edge of a razor and not get hurt.- that's why they reached my ninang's cactus plants.

Snails are hermaphrodites which means that they have both male and female reproductive organs - that's why hindi sila maubos ubos ;D.

Snails cannot hear - kahit mautas si ninang kakasigaw, snails continue to raid her garden hahahaha

Snails can retract one or both of their tentacles at a time - now you see them, now you dont

Because of the suction created by their slime, a snail can crawl upside down - kaya pala pati sa bubong nakarating sila

Snails are nocturnal animals which means they are more active at night - apo ni dracula?


The garden snail is cooked and eaten as a delicacy called escargot - ewwwwww


My ninang is planning to buy some pesticides this afternoon to get rid of these slugs so hopefully tomorrow morning, no more shoutings at my ninang's garden hahahaha.

tolerance

it's been almost 6 years since me & my husband separated and its not too short of a time to say we haven't moved on yet. indeed i moved on. but few days ago when me and my eldest daughter were going to a local store nearby, we came pass a lady neighbor. my daughter then asked me something that's so deafening. "mommy, what is a broken home?" i asked her what made her ask that. she said that this lady neighbor that we passed by once asked her how she felt now that she has a broken home.. My goodness, how can people be so cruel!? i knew that one day my daughter is going to ask me about my status with her father, but i'm not expecting that it will be that way. we'll at my calmest self, i just answer "baby, maybe because the house is damaged or the people living in it have broken arms and legs that's why it is called a broken home. is our house damaged? are we broken?" my daughter just laugh, i don't know if its about the idea of having broken limbs but i know eventually she will understand...